A Conversation to be Driven Insane by
by Ivy Retrao
Summary: exactly what the title says... Trin's having issues with the One, and turns to Fee and Ulee for help. Co-written with UlitaTDA.
1. The One does not need to spell

Hello! Ulita's computer has way cooler fonts than myne.  
  
The Matrix has you, Neo.  
  
i'm so sure it does.  
  
You're being difficult, Neo.  
  
Yup! ^_^  
  
You're not Neo, are you?  
  
Yay! you just won the million-dollar question!  
  
I'll sic my muse on you if you don't shut up.  
  
Ok. Neo's not here right now. The agents are chasing him through New York.  
  
SHIT!!!!!! E-chan, hold down the fort.  
  
*looks puzzled* hm? Waddya mean by that?  
  
HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Trin- person isn't here right now, so I'm subbing for her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hi there! Is it just me, or are you hyper?  
  
Hyper? No. I'm normally like this. ^-^  
  
Joy. So who are you? And where'd Trinity go? I wasn't finished pestering her.  
  
Trin-person went to save Neo's ass. My name is Ed. What's yours?  
  
ED?!?!?!?!? YOU MEAN COWBOY BEBOP ED??? OH CRAP!!!!!!!!  
  
Yah!!!! How'd you know? You must be smart!  
  
*hides*  
  
*seeks*  
  
*facefaults* well, I suppose I can't hide unless I log off, and I would be bored out of my skull if I did. So, I'll talk to you until Trin's back. I'm Fyona!  
  
Nice to meet you! Ein says hi, too!  
  
Um.. hi?  
  
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VIDEO GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Um, riiiiiight..... u'r having fun, aren't you?  
  
*yawns* Ed is tired. Ein is going to talk to you while Ed sleeps!  
  
Ok, Ed, you do just that..  
  
Jhudsfgdui  
  
Well, dshf;ksdjghakbfians;fkuhasufg. So there.  
  
Do you even know the code I'm using? No? I didn't think so. Don't act so astonished. Of course I can speak.  
  
*gives Ed a blank look* whatever. I really couldn't care less, Eddie.  
  
IDIOT!!!! It's not ED that is talking. It's EIN.  
  
Ein? Oh, sorry. I didn't know that you had switched. You didn't change fonts!!! I'm confusified!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sorry, I'm new at this whole computer thing. It's hard to move the mouse, ne?  
  
Hai. It _would_ be hard with paws.  
  
Oh. Trinity is back.  
  
Yayification!!! Hiya, Trin! So'd ya save Neo _again_?  
  
Ugh. Men are helpless. It wasn't even Agent Smith, for crying out loud!!!!!!  
  
Hee hee. Hell yes! So now what? Is he claiming all the glory? (if there was any)  
  
Geez. All he does is run around screaming "I am the one!!! I am the One!!!" Over and Over!!! And then runs away and makes ME do all the work.  
  
Heh. That's why I got one that I have to fight with to let me do some of the work.  
  
It's not like I have a choice, here. Morpheus would shoot me If I didn't comply with his every wish. Men are, and I quote, "Big fat retards".  
  
Who said that? (whoever it was must've really known men)  
  
Her name was Paulett, and she really, did.  
  
Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, paulett! Yah, I know who she was!  
  
Y'know what? I'm sick of it. I'm going to quit.  
  
Quit.. the Matrix?  
  
Quit waiting on them hand and foot.  
  
Oh, ok. Kool! I wish I could quit going to Logan School. I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IHATEITIHATEITIHATEIT'SGUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Oh, you mean the place where the Agents punish the dangerous people?  
  
*thinks* you could call it that. It used to be an Air Force prison. Then again, what am I saying, "used to be"?  
  
Ahhhhhh. Hhhhhhhhhhhcrap. Neo's calling AGAIN. Phu. Probably wants a doughnut. .  
  
Put him online as soon as u'r done talking to him.  
  
Done Deal. BRB.  
  
I am the one! You are speaking to the One!!!!  
  
I won't be speaking to anyone if you keep up _that_ attitude.  
  
What buisnes do you have with the One?  
  
Well, first off "business" is spelled wrong. Oh "One".  
  
The One does not need to spell!!!  
  
Yah, I'll bet.  
  
What is it you want? I am the One!  
  
I think we established that, Neo. U'r starting to sound like Ed.  
  
See what I mean?  
  
Trinity? You're here?  
  
Yes, and she has been for quite a while, oh (unobservant) One.  
  
Trinity! She has insulted the One! Destroy her!  
  
*sniggers*  
  
shut up and do us all a favor, Neo. Or I'll start calling you Nero.  
  
Neo, I have something to tell you.  
  
What? I am the One!  
  
WE HAVE ESTABLISHED THAT YOU JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE THE ONE, NERO!!!!! SO SHUT THE F*** UP ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Um, actually, Nero isn't the One.  
  
I AM THE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hm? He's not?  
  
No. the Oracle said that I would fall in love with the One. See a problem here?  
  
I sure do. Nero here's just too damn self-centered for anyone to love. ... say! I should see if I can get him to go on a blind date with $$$!  
  
Or even better- ####. Give him a taste of his own medicine.  
  
I AM THE ONE!!!!! YOU HAVE TO LOVE ME, TRINITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
You know, if you'd quit with this business about the One, lossa peeps'd love you. You just have to believe in urself! *begins a very drematic rant about justice* because if you don't believe in yourself, where will the justice be? If you're self-absorbed, people won't like you, and they'll try to kill you, and JUSTICE WILL NOT BE SERVED!!!!!!!!! ...... *realizes that Amelia has possessed her* ACK!! I'M UNCLEAN!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!  
  
*looks scared*  
  
*looks confused* I am the one?  
  
Ok, Nero, from now on (unless the jellyfish himself joins our convo) I'm going to call you Gourry.  
  
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( (Naga Laugh)  
  
Oh, hiya! Who're u? *sarcastically* Naga?  
  
"BANANNA MOCHA!!!!!" Greetings Fee, Trin, and Gourry!  
  
Ulee!!! Hiya!!!  
  
I, Ulita the Devine Authoress, have arrived! (imitating Sheena) From far away galaxies and past more black holes then I care to recall... (etc, etc, etc,)  
  
*goes to sleep* zzzzzzzzz..... Snk.... Gigantic doughnut!......................... nm...... ACK! NO! NO MORE FRUIT FLIES! GAAAAHHHH!!!!!! TOO MUCH GENETICS!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
..... Witness my awesome power!!! Appear, Keramour!!!! *nothing happens, so she shuts up*  
  
*in a kind of lost and pathetic voice* the One is still here. don't ignore the One.  
  
Oh, SHUT UP, GOURRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*coming from the Little Green Mouse* squeak! I'm fuzzy!!!  
  
*coming from Tib the Little Red Pen who can only say one word at a time* Here!  
  
Hey! Our Muses have arrived! Hi, LGM!  
  
Yum, Tib!! *yum means "greetings earthlings" in InsaneGiggle dialect*  
  
*sings* oh, I'm a Little Fuzzy Green Mouse, yes yes, oh I'm a Little Fuzzy Green Mouse! My mistress says that I'm Insane, and yes indeed I am, yes yes! .  
  
*annoyed* shaddup!  
  
Fuzzyfuzzyfuzzy, that's me! Squeaky toy!  
  
*scared* Ulitaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..  
  
Don't worry, Tib. It's normal behavior..for that ..species....  
  
*cuddles her Mouse* byya'll!!! This'll be continued, if you haven't been driven insane with fear yet!  
  
And If you review, we'll update either more frequently, or less frequently, depending on your preference!! Ta-Ta! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Say, where'd Trinity go?  
  
*quietly* I am the One?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The End 


	2. illegal pills and exclamation points!

Let's write something funny!!!  
  
=^-_-^=zzz  
  
*sweatdrop* I said funny...  
  
*yawns* hmm?  
  
Nevermind. I'm leaving. *gets offline*  
  
Well that was soooooo funny...  
  
The Matrix has you, Noe..  
  
Is he getting on your nerves again?  
  
Do you even have to ask? "I am the one! I am the one!!" wouldn't that get on your nerves???  
  
^_^ poor trin  
  
I'm not safe in the Matrix, I'm not safe out of the Matrix.. He's EVERYWHERE...  
  
Does he know where Denver is? Knowing his undoubted IQ, probly not.  
  
He'll just get his slave, Morpheus, to do it for him.  
  
.what kind of pills does Morpheus have?  
  
Well, let me tell you. They're not all legal...  
  
^____^ so what if someone "accidently" got the colors mixed up?  
  
OOHHHHH.. I'll be back in a bit... *signs off*  
  
*waves* always a pleasure!  
  
*Signs on* Giving Trin advice on how to handle her, ah, 'problem' *cough* Noe *cough*?  
  
Yupperses!!! ..um, who's this?  
  
I'll give you a hint... I know Ed.  
  
Two guesses says you liked Spike but never told him.  
  
*Growls* don't talk about that.  
  
Okee. Say, is Ed around now?  
  
She left. Went back to Earth with Ein.  
  
m. I see. Too bad. *jokingly* no more mushroom experiments.  
  
*shudders* Oh god NO  
  
heehee.  
  
Do you have any interesting news for me?  
  
Such as.?  
  
Ummmmm......................!.............................................. I don't know?  
  
Ok, if you mean that kind of news, then I'm bored.  
  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
What, no exclamation points?  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!  
  
I shouldn't have asked. so which pill was it? The bright pink one with purple filling?  
  
Actually, the glowing green one. Morpheus thinks he has turned into the Weed and is trying to kill himself.  
  
Wait. you gave _morpheus_ the pill? ..oh dear. I meant give _nero_ the pill.  
  
Well, now I can move to Denver and Nero won't be able to find me. JOYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Not to mention no more agents. They all want Nero-baka.  
  
An added bonus. ^____________________________________________________^  
  
=^-o-^=/\yawn/\ kitty's getting sleeeeeeeeeepyyyyyyyy.... *signs off*  
  
I'm going to go get drunk to celebrate my new* freedom!!!!!!!!  
  
I'll come with you, just for an excuse to get drunk.  
  
*signs off*  
  
*signs off*  
  
*signs on* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I'M EXCESSIVLY HYPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course that means I'll crash soo- *thud**signs off with head*  
  
END 


End file.
